Only a mothe r could love this liver
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
and you fell through a lawn chair
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
