we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
