help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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