I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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