I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
