dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She even gives head with a lisp.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
