We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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