I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
