No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
