Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
