I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
