Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
