After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
