Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
