Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
