some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
