I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize