He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
