I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
