i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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