Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
