But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
