well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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