Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
