i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
