I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
