I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
