so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
