We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
