Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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