Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
