Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
love makes seman taste better
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
