The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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