make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize