Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
