it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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