She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
