She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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