Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
