She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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