I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize