at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
