So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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