Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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