I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize