I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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