I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
