i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
