One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
