it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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