you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wish i was in the wii world.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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