I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
