Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize