onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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