whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize