I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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