I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
This toilet bowl is my home.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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