this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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