I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize