As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You pole danced in your parka.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
