I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
