It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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